Networking is a slimy term for many.
I get that.
I used to be uncomfortable with the idea of “networking,” especially in a large public space like a conference or a happy hour — it just felt too aggressive for my liking. While I don’t get as intimidated these days, I have also discovered there’s actually a whole other side of networking, which I call “soft networking” (vs. “hard networking.”)
The key is that there is a time and place for each, and distinguishing them can help you make the best of both.
First, let’s get some definitions out of the way —
What is hard networking?
Hard networking is what I would describe as direct, outcome-driven professional interactions that usually operate on a shorter timeline. Think: elevator pitching yourself at a conference to a recruiter, doing cold LinkedIn outreach, or having targeted coffee chats to get referrals. There is definitely a time and place for this, but it’s not the full picture.
What is soft networking?
Soft networking, on the other hand, is what I would describe as intentionally and (key word) consistently building a professional relationship over a long period of time. This usually includes things like sharing relevant resources/opportunities, engaging in asynchronous dialogue around a specific topic (on social media for instance), or setting up recurring coffee chats (with a clear agenda, but not necessarily a clear outcome like a referral.)
The best part about soft networking is that the opportunities or relationships (which you might have been trying to get through hard networking) emerge much more organically, and often lead to much greater opportunities since the relationship is built on trust.
How do you know what type of networking is appropriate?
When you have a specific objective and short-term outcome you are pursuing (like a referral or a job) it does pay to advocate for yourself and network more aggressively (but still politely, of course.)
But when you are looking to build your network and want to invest for the long term, soft networking is definitely the way to go. If there’s one thing I’ve learned while working in corporate, it’s that the business world runs on relationships founded on mutual trust. And soft networking is one way to build that trust.
Here’s a more concise breakdown:
Hard networking
- Timeframe is short-term (e.g., job application)
- Objective is clear-cut (e.g., referral)
- You likely only get one shot (e.g., recruiting conference)
Soft networking
- Timeframe is longer-term (i.e., relationship building)
- Objective is broad (i.e., build trust)
- You can interact with this person over time (i.e., works at the same company)
There are already a lot of resources out there for the more direct type of networking, but I’d say there is way less written about the “softer” ways to build relationships, so here are some examples that I’ve found helpful while navigating my career. (While these are very practical points, the goal is really just to build trust over a long time. So make sure you do these in a way that is authentic to your approach and voice.)
- Be helpful: Great networking should always end with a win-win situation. So seek cool resources, opportunities, or articles that might be relevant to send to someone in your network. For example, I’ve gotten into the habit of sharing podcasts/articles that might be interesting for my past college professors to incorporate into their lesson plans, and I always make sure to forward cool opportunities to relevant friends/connections (i.e., recently sent an entrepreneurship fellowship to those I know who are working on their own startup.) While I used to try to do this very intentionally, it’s become very natural now.
- Send praise or appreciation: A simple note of praise or appreciation is always valuable. It could be for an accomplishment, a helpful piece of advice, or a follow-up from a recent call. It’s also a great way to ‘stay on someone’s radar.’
- Leverage your existing network: A great way to create “win-win-win” situations is to leverage your existing network to connect mutuals who have similar goals or interests. I’ve always benefited from thoughtful introductions to new people and I always try to pass along the favor when I can.
- Join professional organizations and communities: Becoming a member of professional communities relevant to your industry or interests is a great way to stay connected to a valuable network. I’ve been a part of the Ellevate Network, which has helped me meet some incredible like-minded women in New York. The key is to consistently stay involved in some capacity.
- Find a mentor: Building a mentor-mentee relationship is one of the most valuable ways to get great career advice and expand your surface area for new opportunities. If you don’t have a mentor that emerges organically through your work or current network, look for programs that provide mentor-mentee matching or proactively reach out to prospective mentors for coffee chats! (Linking a guide to coffee chatting here.)
- Build your personal brand: I think a broader (maybe more modern) way to “network” is actually building your personal brand. Having a strong online presence and showcasing your expertise through LinkedIn, blogs, or other types of content can organically attract like-minded professionals and broaden your network that could lead to various new opportunities.
While there is a time and place for more “aggressive” networking, I’d argue that soft networking is a more valuable (and a more natural) way to support long-term career growth — I see the ideal as a ‘re-balance’ in the way we view networking and, ultimately, build connections.
